It’s time to bid goodbye…..But not without thanks giving

With a bag of mixed feeling I am waiting for my day of convocation in my campus spending last few hours. It is still clear to me, the day and the manner in which the thought of MBA took birth in my thoughts. It has been 4 years now. Every day, every action of mine since then have revolved around only and only this. First two years towards making it happen and next two years living it.

As I stand in my room with bags packed, cupboard deserted, walls clean and room empty tears fill my eyes and I sit down to write this post and calm myself. I am short of words today and I do not know where to start from or what to end with. With every journey comes an experience and I am certain I have had bundle of eventful experiences which I shall remember throughout. I didn’t want to miss on the opportunity to extend my simple thanks to the most most (any other superlative possible then that too) special persons who made this journey happen and so here I am.

If ever I have to make a thanks giving list for these two years, I am sure it will run into pages (seriously). I have been helped, nurtured, lifted and sailed by innumerable people in these span of two years. Still if I sit down and have to search for those gems in the ocean of pebbles I can pin point to two of them and it is to them I want to express my sincere thanks giving through this.

They say journey begins at home and same was with me. And I have been lucky to find maximum support and encouragement from my dearest brother to make this journey a success. I do not remember the number of our night chats when I lost confidence in myself due to failure in mock tests. You stood by me as a solid morale booster making me feel I am the most deserving and wonderful person. Even after joining college, I visited back home in just 15 days and cried that I do not want to return to campus and it was you who hand helped me till the point I could walk alone. My first visit to campus, the run around, the joining date, the room arrangement if there was anyone with me throughout it has been you big brother. I want to make this a full circle and hence I have only you as my guest for my convocation.

My sweetheart Big B...

And the next person is my bestest friend Nits. If my memory serves me good, it was you who put light on this path of MBA after graduation. My day never ended without talking out everything possible to you since then. After my first failure in CAT, it was you who ensured right from books, reading material to test ids. Sometimes politely, sometimes pestering me to do more you never gave up on me. It was your confidence and support that made me reach gates of GIM. It was just the beginning. Till today, it is only you who knows what all has happened with me in my day. Every happy moment, every success, every scolding, every fear I can share so easily with you buddy. Staying miles apart, only with my voice you understood my state of mind - whether I was happy, upset, hyper or excited. Life has become so easy with your presence just over the phone. The importance of this relationship in this aspect of my life is known to all and God helped me further by getting convocated on the birthday of the person with whom I had set out on this journey with - 30th March 2013.

Bestest Buddy...

My sincere thanks and hugs to both of you. I know more often than not I have been a pain to you all, but you both endured me with no regret. My most beautiful journey wouldn’t have started or ended peacefully without both of your support.

Lots of love

~~~Cheers to three of us~~

Now that the love is gone…….

As I keep running away,

The feeling sinks in with greater sway.

I ask myself a zillion times,

How could I hurt someone so prime?

I wish there was a better way,

To tell you that the love is gone away.

I wish I had never fallen again,

Into the arms that I wish forever to stay.

What it started with...

For you the world have fallen apart,

For me it’s not an inch better with the heap of guilt filled in heart.

I still hope we can together find a way,

And fill this small journey with moments of hay.

For once give me a chance,

And stop masking around as the rudest monk.

I know who you truly are,

It’s just a way of you to let me go far.

Please Don't

I promise a relation that shall stay strong,

Never will we regret for the turn around.

I need you to be by my side,

Please don’t leave me alone in this gamble of my life.

~~Moments Worth Living For~~

Hellooo blogdosts!  It’s been almost 2 months since I logged on to this place. No, not that I am doing something important! Never mind! So how have you all been..?

I have been waiting for that indomitable urge to take out my laptop and pen down my thoughts. Because that is what blogging has always meant to me. And yes it was back just 2 days back and at no other time than when I was leaving my city!

It was just another time of travelling back from home to campus. It’s the irony of time that makes you blend into everything. Now even my travel’s busboy recognises me [because of my geeky specs]. So you can guess on the frequency of my travel.

Miles Unlimited!

In these two years, the time I felt most independent was while travelling. And I traveled alone a lot. So much so that it seems a restriction if I am questioned on – “……But how will you travel alone?” It has its own charm and charisma. And if I have gained any deeper awareness of myself then it is my love for travelling. I have decided to keep travelling to places and not settle in one single city. The feeling of being new to a place, the fear of getting lost, the slow interaction between you and the city to the time that your eyes become moist when you leave the place. I love this experience.

Little Moments!

So what was special about this departure? It was supposed to be my last travel from home to campus [Goa]. At all times [for which the count goes to 13 travel trips=26 bus journeys in 17 months] I always had my Big B[bro] to drop me and keep waving ‘bye-bye’ till I could see him. This time it was different. He couldn’t stay back at home due to office reasons. And here I was sitting in my pick up bus, ear phones plugged in with a gloomy face watching other passengers waving goodbye. The main bus is to be boarded at a distance of 35kms from the pickup point.

Sitting in an A/C bus, watching outside the window, I was lost in the music. In a matter of time the bright sun was taken in by the dark clouds. Hot wind turned into a pleasant breeze and I could suddenly feel the happiness in the environment around me. Tip went down the first drop against my window. And soon enough it started raining. I love rains. And however bad mood I may be in, a shower from clouds, can make up my mood. I quickly tuned the music to accompany my mood with rain. Motor cyclists started to speed up, road-side vendors began covering their material. But no one seemed complaining. Or rather I wasn’t so I found no one. I was mesmerized at God’s way of cheering me up with a message. When I first time travelled from home to Goa, it was the monsoon time. And the city shed tears as much as I did on my departure. Probably this would be my last travel and association as a student with Goa. And with this unexpected and inexpressibly touching moment, I relaxed back in my chair saying – “Dream Journey has come a full circle”!  

Wait! This was not the end of it. I reached the main boarding area and was sitting in the waiting lounge awaiting the announcement. As I heard the details of bus, I looked up the stairs from the room. To my eyes it can be the best moment worth keeping as a memory. Yes! He made it this one last time too! All I could do was pick up my bags smiling, rush to him and give a hug! Yet one more time he was standing there waving “bye-bye” with a smile on lips and sadness in eyes. 

Pre-corporate experience & observations

If getting a job brings down the curtains on the journey of MBA, I am glad I have been able to do so successfully. All the mad rush, tension to make it through, the last piece of puzzle to be put in order etc etc etc. All the while I kept asking myself – Is this the end of all?

I know holding a job in hand and spreading knowledge(*Gyaan*) about the other side of the coin is an easy task. And look at the irony of this – till the time you do not grab a job and you talk this stuff you are considered to be a brave soldier or a wise man. The moment you cross the road you lose all the rights to explain to people that “this isn’t really the end of all”.

The war for the job.....

 Each one of us has our own corporate experiences. This was my second campus recruitment experience. I had decided this time to enjoy every bit of it. I knew these will be the memories I shall look back upon. Taking my profession of future HR seriously and above all I like being the silent observer. With the process closing to an end, here is a list of my observations. Some funny, some to learn from, some weird…..

Disclaimer – “I am not writing this against any individual in specific. Any identical behaviour to the ones being described is purely coincidental”

Starting with the preparation part. Few of them like to skip meals and avoid going for breaks during the time of serious preparation. While there are other who flock around in the small store to buy packets of chips, biscuits, breads. They stock it in their room and lure themselves for eating so much after having studied this part. Few prefer to keep the doors locked and study in isolation and peace. Few prefer it in groups. Few love it with music. While others like it in Library where they can see other souls doing the same and take inspiration. While one side is content not knowing what others are doing, other side cannot survive without knowing the level of preparation the person next door has gone upto.

Now coming to the D-day. Few prefer to keep the routine of waking up early morning, having breakfast, reading the headlines before going for the process. Others like to make it to the last minute sweating, skipping breakfast and arriving in the room all tensed up.

Next when people are waiting in room either for their Group Discussion or for their interview turn. One of them is glued to laptop to read everything possible that he/she has not been able to read so far in the short time left. One of them would like to calmly recollect the notes made while preparation and gather their thoughts. Another set would not want to do anything but get nervous seeing people around flipping pages. Few keep getting nervousness jitters and nibble around with things. Few prefer not to do anything and just walk along in the corridor trying to make small chats with people around.

Each individual’s personality defines their thought process. And moreover the manner in which they take failure. Few take the whole blame of situation on themselves and become their own best critique.  “I didn’t give the best for this job…I think I screwed up the interview ….. I didn’t deserve it because I hadn’t worked much hard for it….” Few others put it on factors around which are beyond their control. “ My luck never favoured me anytime in past too…..The interview was not at same level of difficulty for all…..The panel had demographic criteria in mind before itself(sex, experience, age) and I didn’t fit it inspite of being good in the interview”. And then there is another set who puts an argument on the system itself. “ This is a pathetic way of recruiting people…How can a person be judged in an interview…They took the person who was most silent in the GD…This time they have taken aggressive people…They selected xyz on basis of ‘this’,’this’ and ‘this’. I am amazed…..”. No right or wrong way of taking this but just an observation.

Yayaya...

Now reaching the last and the most beautiful part when you make through. Few are overwhelmed, joyous with tears in eyes. Others remain calm and composed taking stalk of the situation and trying to sink the news in. Few go around immediately calling up distant loved ones. Few walk back preferring to be the shoulder of those for whom it was not meant to be. And finally there are others who shout out and express their happiness, hugging people around and sharing the love and joy.

Nothing judgemental about anybody. Nothing right or wrong. I enjoyed being a part of this process and have my own set of learning’s which shall keep nurturing me in years to come. I wanted to share this experience with you all and mark it in my diary of memories and this is the way it goes.

And still I would say to all facing hard-luck in whatsoever manner – “This isn’t the end of all. Everything has to pass. And this too shall pass”. Stay there and face it with courage. For God knows which child can take it all. And he has chosen to you because he considers you to be brave.

Signing off for now.

Cheers

Love Cleaning?

Hello blogdosts!!! It is been long since I wrote or read everyone’s updates. I promise I shall do that soon.

What has kept me away from this space has got nothing to do with hunting of my job as I draw closer to the end of dream journey! Instead I have been completely out of focus towards that aspect. I have visited home twice in a span of 20days. Yeyeye. First occasion was Dussera (birthday to be noted) and second was Diwali. What both the celebrations were like would require another post. In one word it was “lovable”.

Continuing with the title – “ Love Cleaning?”. Well it might be Yes, No, May be haven’t tried or anything else. For me I have grown to love cleaning from the extreme of hating it. I did not realise till I became independent (*away from home*) how engraved my mumma’s teachings of cleanliness and organization have become. My roomie (Lakshmi) would agree to that completely. She has seen me freak out for scattered things, not so clean clothes of washing machine or a miss of “eco-clean’s regular cleaning of room”. I did not realise my finicky attitude towards this unless I was made conscious of. But I am proud of it and I love it.

And cleaning for Diwali always has always been exciting. It has been a bonding activity for our family. It was never shouldered or considered something only ladies should be doing in the house. Images of dad splashing water on the floor, me clicking images of brother on the roof, mom’s teacher like instructions and me being “chotu assistant” to all flash as I recollect old Diwali. Mom yelling to clean properly while the rest three of us giggling anticipating the “yelling dialogue” of mom being the best memory.

I have been missing this fun since two years. But I ensured to give it a different direction by enjoying cleaning my room with laku (my roomie) last year. This year, being in a single room, I had been postponing proper cleaning for the occasion of Diwali. An unplanned visit back home deprived me of the pleasure to clean my living place. No regrets at all for missing or rather delay of the opportunity, but ever since I came back I was feeling uneasy. Growing layer of dust had been increasing my anxiety till today when I decided come what may I am taking it up NOW!!!  People around my room (who rarely peep inside) knocked on to check if I was packing bags for permanent return (yeah! It is a self – praise to the method of cleaning. Hehe).

CIP - Cleaning in Progress - Snap 1

CIP - Cleaning in Progress - Snap 2

As I write this a smile spreads across my face seeing the nick clean tube light, fan, bed, shoe stand ,study table etc. It is not because I feel sense of achievement after doing it. Rather I feel good because I feel I have returned the respect back to the things I make use of on daily basis or the things I have received as gifts because I am special for them.

Post Cleaning :)

That's my study and decorative table :)

P.S: In the cleaning spree I do not remember how I cleaned my tube light but it has stopped working: P 

Evening Walk…..

Putting on my tracks, wearing my shoes,

I plug in my ear phones to break the routine of daily chores.

Making way from the unknown crowd,

I cross the gate and feel sense of relief.

The treasured path...

Walking down the road listening to loud music,

I slow down the volume at the entrance of the village.

Birds chirping all over the sky,

Sun bids good bye with a promise to return by.

Fences of trees surrounding houses,

I admire their evening lifestyle.

Tired after day’s real hard work, a man return to his home,

Outside the house on a small stove is a lady cooking coughing due to smoke.

My memory lane runs down the past,

I remember how the food cooked on “chullah”(stove is a modern version) tastes.

I smile at the real unknown people yet get true smile back,

I feel the serene feeling in my heart as I turn back.

Putting again the loud music on the phone,

I sway back to my place of unknowns. 

Baadal zameen par!!!

In the state of Joy…….

“So I got the new one-liners to be added in the list which people use when they are high” ! Exclaimed my brother last night. No, I wasn’t alcoholically drunk still I was high. I was high with emotion of happiness. I do not remember last time when I had this feeling.

When hands join.....

I still wonder would I be longing so much for the small visits to the city if it was not for my family and friends. Each of my visits become special with small and big moments of happiness. Be it early morning walks, rush of finishing household duties, crazy photo shoot in girls night out, trying riding bike, late night dandiya ,  or a serene time to write a blog sitting by a rainy window with a mug of “maa k haath ki chai”. Everything falls in place with so much ease. I adore each thread of this life and feel blessed.

People have their own way of forming opinion about various cities. I have opinion about each city based on people and relationships I develop there. Although I haven’t travelled much, I have two cities that I am in love with. Hyderabad is a perfect city for me – Perfect not because of its lifestyle, culture or beauty. It is perfect for me because of the warmth of the people whom I can call as mine. It is not perfect because I have stayed here from childhood; it is not perfect because I can identify most number of people of this city. It is perfect because I have found many pair of eyes in which I see genuine care and love for me. It is flawless because I have found pair of hands and shoulders that can raise my spirits from the abyssal of darkness. And this shall continue to be the best city for me till the best people I know are here.

P.S: And so I am back in my city to celebrate b'day and get high without the alcohol of Goa!